Per Diem.

by ghosts in bloom   Jun 18, 2008


The sun sighs his accomplishments; soft light folding over trees,
The mane of earth: green pastures dance, gently swaying in the breeze.
Today stretching out it's tired limbs, as time still presses slowly on.
Tomorrow itself turning and kicking, lively in the womb of dawn.

The crickets chirp their melody, caressing nature in to sleep,
The awning now bejeweled with stories, enigmatic, wide and deep.
The house of marrow lifts her head, to illuminate the world around,
Dear Moon your eyes are skilled, to bring light uplifting and profound.

Through the small hours I dream; makeshift worlds and seasons pristine,
Now wipe the sleep from weary eyes, and comb through hair of my Routine,
Opportunity then lifts me up out of bed, to the sound of sweet birdsong,
Morning sifts it's fingers through my day, in this my faith it does prolong.

Continuous cycle of rejuvenation, carrying in its tiny palms: my future,
Giving selflessly a chance to me; a pure white thread to stitch the suture. The steady inhales and exhales: night to day; why to how; now to then,
There --- in between the ins and outs, I find proclivity to begin again.

(c) Novalyn Grace RRL
6.18.08 5:37PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suture = a joining of the lips or edges of a wound/
the line of junction of two bones, esp. of the skull,
in an immovable articulation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    Stunning imagery with good rhymes.

    The stanza that stood out for me was:-

    "The sun sighs his accomplishments; soft light folding over trees,
    The mane of earth: green pastures dance, gently swaying in the breeze.
    Today stretching out it's tired limbs, as time still presses slowly on.
    Tomorrow itself turning and kicking, lively in the womb of dawn."

    This stanza is so captivating. Completely stunning what you penned and presented. You impressed me with this description, it is beautiful.

    An awesome write.

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    I like the word choice in this piece although you used "the" way too many times. It is interesting and thought provoking. Too many filler words and if you modify just a bit, this poem will be excellent!

    ^a pure white thread to stitch the suture^

    A suture is a stitch. Maybe it is cause I am a nurse, that line just doesn't sound right to me...

    I really like the poem and the use of metaphors was good.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    First of all I want to say something which I think about each stanza. Your rhyming is spectacular. It amazed me, truly, very very refreshing choice of rhymes, and it doesn't seem forced at all.

    -The sun sighs his accomplishments; soft light folding over trees,
    The mane of earth: green pastures dance, gently swaying in the breeze.
    Today stretching out it's tired limbs, as time still presses slowly on.
    Tomorrow itself turning and kicking, lively in the womb of dawn. -

    ^This stanza is simply beautiful. It's quite stunning what you are able to do with so little words. I must say that you impressed me with this description, it is really vivid. You captured my attention.

    -The crickets chirp their melody, caressing nature in to sleep,
    The awning now bejeweled with stories, enigmatic, wide and deep.
    The house of marrow lifts her head, to illuminate the world around,
    Dear Moon your eyes are skilled, to bring light uplifting and profound.-

    ^I don't like last line too much because I think that you cloud say same thing on little different way, with less words maybe.
    Anyway creative part. I truly enjoyed in atmosphere which you created, it is remarkable and somehow enigmatic.

    -Through the small hours I dream; makeshift worlds and seasons pristine,
    Now wipe the sleep from weary eyes, and comb through hair of my Routine,
    Opportunity then lifts me up out of bed, to the sound of sweet birdsong,
    Morning sifts it's fingers through my day, in this my faith it does prolong.-

    ^Well this is deep and impressionable. I honestly can say that I love every word, you simply wrote this on brilliant way. Every picture which you created with your words is very detailed, imagery is in every line incredible and intertwined with your expressed emotions, simply beautiful.

    -Continuous cycle of rejuvenation, carrying in its tiny palms: my future,
    Giving selflessly a chance to me; a pure white thread to stitch the suture. The steady inhales and exhales: night to day; why to how; now to then,
    There --- in between the ins and outs, I find proclivity to begin again.-

    ^And ending simply took my breath away. I can absolutely honestly say that this is best nature poem I read in my whole life. It goes into my favorites and I will nominate it for contest thing.
    Wow! I must say that I don't have any negative critique for this piece, I will surely read more of your work, this was most enjoyable read.

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This poem is very well written. Very poetic. The rhyming was extremely amazing.. and was not forced at all.. which was great, because I think a lot of people think rhyming is really cool, use it, and it doesn't work very well.. The flow was great, because of how great your rhyming was. The imagery was amazing and beautiful. Great work. I enjoyed this piece. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Edward D Zurovec

    Astounding work young Lady! One of the best Poems I have ever read, touching deeply My beliefs to move on Day to Day. Nature plays, us in our endless cycle of rejuvenation. Without the Sunlight,trees, grass,singing Crickets,soft Moonlight to enlighten dreams, what a boring Life we would lead. I enjoyed the awareness of your well written imagery and subtle Metaphors to bring it all together. For there --- in between the ins and outs, I find proclivity to begin again. Beautiful work, Peace and Blessings