I love this poem great job

Mmm another time , the paragraphs , it si one block not good and teh lines sopme short some long , and the rhyming is very poor ,

hope you fix it

Moucha: not all poems HAVE to rhyme. these poems are VERY good and all you do is make them sound horrible. maybe you should try saying something NICE instead.

Tokin: your poems are awesome. you have a great writing style.