I always wondered why I was always
Looking for the easy way out everytime.
Always running to hide.
Keeping so many things bottle up inside.
Nobody hearing anything I had to say.
Looking to the blade for the fix of a scream.
Seeing all my fears, all my worries disappear
Into beautiful red cuts and flows.
Getting to the point where I felt like
Not even I could trust myself.
I had nobody. I had a shiny metal piece of sanity.
It wasn't until so much was happening that I sat back
And realized how pathetic I really am.
Watching my grandma fight breast cancer
And all these other things that have surrounded me
Of how bad things could really be and Im the one
That can't handle any of it.
I am weak.
I have never been the strong one,
not in all of my days.
I've never stood up for myself,
Never did anything but hide.
I am useless, can't even help myself.
I have gotten so exhausted.
I've got thrown on the ground
For the last time and I can't jump
up and say its all okay anymore.
