Apetalous

"Your destruction;
lies upon my heart."

Very heartbreaking words just right there, really expressing how much you care and how much you're hurt by what you see. You make the reader hurt too when they read this sad piece.

"Apetalous you have become,
though roses once bloomed.
Entwined with vines you fell;
into thorns of scarlet haw."

I had to look up "apetalous" but otherwise good imagery here and metaphor, it really enlivened this poem and told of such meaning.

"Your eyes became my dismay,
Burying my soul within anguish.
Petals burnt to ember; as
you lied yourself to burn."

Wow, you have clearly written this straight from your heart and with so many emotions, good job.

"Who are you? I've asked, yet
I'm sure you've never known.
Alike a butterfly you'll perish,
Upon a bed of powdered snow."

First two lines: This is so saddening because you can't tell who he is anymore, he's changed so much.

Last two lines: Wonderful imagery here, creating a image for the reader to ponder on, you really brought your talent out in this sad piece.

"Your destruction;
lies upon my heart."

I like how you repeat this as the ending stanza/lines. It really shows that his pain is your pain, and you really hate to see him like this. Well-expressed, 5/5 from me....

I love the depth to this one. lyke you have to think about it and interpret it yet in the end there is only one intended meaning

i do lyke the rhythm too

You are amazing i am speechless

Wonderful write...I could feel deep emotions behind each stanza... the flow is great and the word choice is superb...

I speacially like the title...thats what captivated me at first...

-Your destruction;
lies upon my heart.-

^^ the starting is wonderful...

Since you have written it for your brother may be because of that I felt extra sad while reading it...

"Entwined with vines you fell;
into thorns of scarlet haw.-

Alike a butterfly you'll perish,
Upon a bed of powdered snow"

^^metaphors used are brilliant... very creative indeed...

Excellent write...

keep writing.. :)

I quite like the opening lines, though at first, I didn't. It was kind of like, starting out moderately weak so show the faintness of your emotion, but strengthening it as the piece goes on and repeating those lines as emphasis on how the pain overtakes you. It creeps up, and then it just engulfs everything. And as those lines surround the piece itself, I saw it as just that.

You begin with such beautiful imagery. It's saddening, but so gentle. And you ease into such singing words, it's stunning:

Petals burnt to ember; as
you lied yourself to burn.
`They just really stuck out to me. I can't quite say why ... It just relates to life in my eyes, and you wrote it in such a simple, straightforward, but deep way.

Who are you? I've asked, yet
I'm sure you've never known.
`I adored this. It's so questioning, and I felt anger behind the words I read it, though that might not have been your intent. Answering the question yourself sort of gives off a mockery, and it's quite striking.

And as you end that stanza, it's stunning. I picture a beautiful fluttery just collapsing into a bed of sheer, insipid snow and it was just stunning. A beautiful representation--a metaphor that probably won't leave my mind for a while.

Beautiful write. It's so heart wrenching, but you're able to keep a haunting sort of air to it so it's not completely overtaken by just emotion.
..__MiNDYY