I cannot hold my breathe and longer,
the headaches they cause are increasing.
I have been locked up for to many years,
and the walls of my room I cannot control anymore.
My heart cannot feel my body cannot take the pain, the blood flows with guilt and the desperation of anything else.
Thrust your light and happiness upon me,
allow me to feel the life that you all take for granted.
How can I embrace the things and people I have around me,
when these are fake and only an illusion.
I need a knife or needle to inject into my skin that will relieve me of the self doubt that these demons of existence have slaughtered me with.
I long for the second I can touch that one who brings me everything, the one who has nothing yet smiles so much.
I cannot stand there and fight off these bullets filled with hate and cruelty,
I cannot accept sitting in a room with knives being constantly stabbed in my back.
To indulge in the glitter that lives within us that no one sees I cannot find,
To see loved up teens is an eye opener but I will never feel it.
Do not tell me I cannot jump off a cliff, or drink the glass of lust, love, pure tears and sweet kisses.
Unwind me, try to calculate the things I want with the things I cannot stand.
I am over it now so goodnight and sweet dreams my fears.
