First off, i'm glad you edited it. the other one....it sounds fine, but it's..i don't know how to say it. i just don't like it as much.

but i don't understand why you don't have it featured. it's a great poem, honestly.

I like both endings.
the one you didn't edit is bitter though, although the other is bitter-sweet.
nice job

I like that it was...pretty good and i agee that the darkest corners bring out the best rymes