Comments : Marathon

  • 16 years ago

    by Lori

    Wow! I really like this piece! Its great to see someone write about something other than love and depression on here! I love it!

    Sneakers pounding on the pavement,
    Starting stretch- feet a little unsteady.
    But taking off with eagerness,
    May lack ability, but oh so ready.

    ^^This is a great opening because the reader is automatically drawn to it and just wants to keep reading. Thats awesome.^^

    First milestone, lungs are heaving,
    With striking yellow arms, clouds glare.
    Path is slender, laden with rocks,
    Weaving slowly in suffocating air.

    ^^I love the metaphors in this piece.. especially in this line. It takes a special talent to write like this and you def have it.^^

    Strength is lost before growth occurs,
    With nothing but will to keep going.
    There's no plan to reach the end,
    Yet those already there are knowing.

    ^^Wow...this is an amazing line...my favorite in this piece...it just keeps the reader thinking "whats going on"" lol its great^^

    One foot in front of the other now,
    Length means more than speed.
    In the mass crowd of confusion,
    The body learns what to need.

    ^^Wow love the stanza! I have nothing else to say about this line! I just love it! Haha^^

    Cross the line with an energy burst.
    It's temporary pain; subconsciously ignore it.
    Growing up may be a marathon,
    But we're all the better for it.

    ^^Oofta I never thought that a poem about a marathon could be so deep...but you did it! And you wrote it awesome! Its well-written and it has a lot of hidden messages. Great piece!

  • 16 years ago

    by Travis

    I love the imagery in this poem, it actually feels like im running a marathon while im reading it
    loved it
    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Mimed Lovette

    Wow I love how you compare such a simple everyday thing to something as immense and overwhelming as life and maturing itself. I loved reading every word of this poem, keep writing! 5/5