Confusion

The pain is coming back and it is getting inside me
My dreams, My family, My eyes, MY LIFE
I have always wondered what I did to deserve
all the things I have been through and all the things left
I can not make up my mind whether I
should stay or go, I just do not know
I went to a therapist for so called needed help
I pretended like I was fine until this happened
Now I can not pretend anymore, my mask is unknown
Everybody yells, everybody fusses at me
I try my best not to let it get me down,
but it is getting worse, and I am floating downstream
but I can not swim
I know I need help but a therapist is not the answer
I need my baby back, I need to be able to dance with him
I know it is impossible for him to come home now
but that is why I am sad, that is why I am so down
but the yelling and the screaming does not help much,
it just leaves a big bruise in my heart.
Leave it to me to pick a guy who truly care for me
and then turn around and make him mad!