The rejection spurns a burning pain in the depths of my body, crumbling the illusions I'd built up.
Foolish girl, you believed his lies, you let him lead you on.
To give your heart willingly to someone who; when you are within there grasp, stretching out their hands plucks your heart from your chest. Your heart beats distorted in their firm grip. Then calculating your reaction they squeeze, engulfing your heart in their enjoyment they carefully drain it of all emotion -- from happiness to pain and what your left with is a vile numbness that plagues your system and there's no escape, no life... only what seems to be a welcome death.
Then looking dully into the beautiful eyes of the bastard who broke your heart, you ask why... in a quiet unknowing whisper... and he replies simply... I'm not ready for your love, but I'll keep your heart until I am..... and then you realize you were nothing, you were just another shapeless figure drowsed in purposed conformity... publicly defaced in front of a crowd of strangers and friends, your heart served on a platter to those that you take pleasure in scrutinizing you.
It's now at the end of it all that a the dull now vacant knob switches and clarity is at its height.... It's not that you can't live without them, it's that you don't even want to try.....
and with that you fade into the shadows that cloud the dark endless abyss welcoming death with open arms and relief.
For once you can finally stop faking, the charade slips and you are left bare... vulnerable but blissful in the releasing clutches of suicide
