This is very powerful poem. I really liked this very much and im sorry this happened to you. It gives you a thought though. why would god want someone who hurt "his own children" i mean as its told that god is our father and we are his children but why would you make something so curel to ruion something to great like a family and love. You have a point on people's lives in this poem not only yours but others. If god forgives everyone then what is hell? who knows but sweetie, you did an awesome/amazing job.

keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.

"The weeks passes,"
-You can't have a plural verb with a plural subject. So, it should be "The weeks pass..."

"He has tied her to the bed, in is hand, a knife,"
-Oops. Is should be his. :)

"She asks for help, cause she knows she can't win without a fight.
She ask for someone to come and help, she can't do this all alone."
-You kind of repeated here in both lines that she was asking for help. I wouldn't do that, just add that she can't do it all alone to the first line somehow, or reword the second.

"The little girl was me, at a turning point in my life,
The day I saw the only one I had was me and my knife"
-OMG. Really? Wow. I'm speechless. I'm soo sorry to hear that happened to you. This line gave me goosebumps. It kind of creeped me out =|

"God had not protected her, therefore betrayed my trust,"
-You said God had not protected her. Obviously you are talking about YOU here, so shouldn't you say my? I see you used you then used my.

"If that bastard goes to heaven when he dies, then I don't want to go."
-Wow. I love this line. I hope that this nasty guy doesn't go to heaven, he deserves to go to hell. My opinion!

Overall, a really good poem, .. however.. very very sad and I got goosebumps. What a creepy story.. and what a ugly man - who would ever do such a thing. This was more of a story, but that didn't really matter to me. You wrote the story soo well, so descriptive, and with such imagery which was amazing. I could actually picture it. Also, the flow was amazing with the awesome rhyming. You did a very good job. Nice work. 5/5.

Wow. This blew me away. The imagery was.. fabulous. Normally, I can't bring myself to read long poems, haha, but I really couldn't stop myself from reading this one. The way you brought the event to life is wonderful, to say the very least. You've written an amazing piece here.

An absolute 5/5

-Briana

Most of them falls
`it makes more sense to me as just "fall" instead of "falls." I don't know if it does to you though.

She screams to deaf ears that the man needs to go,
But they just smile at her, telling her they don't know.
`Beautiful lines. The imagery here ... the use of "deaf" is so effective, and not only can these lines relate to this piece, but other times in life when people just don't listen when it's important. It emphasizes her desperation to get them to listen, but her efforts are futile.

But they say they're in control, he would never kill,
All of a sudden, she looks at him, and for a minute time stands still.
`Jesus, I actually felt my heart stop right here. I paused, and it literally felt like my pulse just stopped.

she screams for strength,
`I think you should change it to "cries" or another word, because you already used "screams" in the previous line.

in is hand, a knife,
`in "his" hand

with death and life.
`for some reason, I feel like it would sound better as "with death and with life." but that's just my opinion.

now, there's
`I find the comma unnecessary.

to come and help,
`you already used "help" in the previous line. change it? repeating words in the same stanza takes away from the piece. you also use it in the line after that, too.

But when I looked up to the sky, all I could do was stare.
`The hatred that builds up to this line, it's so stunningly beautiful. I'm typing this as I read, so I don't know how your poem will continue to go, but at this line, I almost cried because your emotion is so evident. And I've felt this way before -- I've just never been able to put it into such blatant words.

with that guy,
`I think you should change it to "with that man." guy sounds too ... I don't know, informal? Or ... rawr' ... I don't know. It just sounds better to me, but it's your piece.

Your ending is absolutely gorgeous. Breathtaking, and so ... amazing. You brought your words to life -- I normally don't like such straightforward pieces, but you wrote this wonderfully in my opinion. It's so painful, and the message you put forth .. is one that I believe but have never been able to express.

Well done .
..__MiNDYY

All i can say is never quit writing, you are so amazingg with a pen and paper lol. i mean it, this poem took my breath away im so speechless. i loved every single word. very powerful, very breath taking keep up the wondeful work!!!

Wow....
that is absolutely amazing.

i am so sorry that you had to go through that, it sounds horrible....

it is such a powerful poem. usually, when someone is going to say "and that girl was me" or whatever.... often you can tell at the beginning that they're talking about themselves. but, this didn't let on anything at all. i had no idea you were talking about an actual event until you got to that point.

really, really awesome work. such powerful feelings, and you are so brave to put them out in the open like that.

seriously, i stand in awe.
keep up the great work!!

Wow... this is amazing written... there are some typo's but overall simply brilliant...
I am amazed how you kept the reader's attention till the end.. generally long poems dont hold much attention till the end... you did a great job..

the story was wonderfully told..

wonderful write...
keep writing...

First of all, sorry for everythin that caused you that much pain coz up to this day, i can clearly notice how much hurt u are.

It was written so intensely and you can actually feel the rage, disappointment, and pains. Youve done it wonderfully.

It was quite long however, you managed to keep it interesting from the first line to the end..

Excellent piece..

Amazingly painful and poetic, excellent work despite typos and repetetive bits-gut wrenching and brave. You are strong and beautiful.

Very powerful, a meaningful message. this kind of stuff can be really hard to write about, but this was wonderful. keep up the good work=]

WOW! This poem blew me away!
I could feel your pain through every verse.... this has to be one of the best poems Ive read in a very long time! You are an amazing writer... keep up the FANTASTIC job!

This one definitely stood out from the rest. simply mind blowing. your feelings were so descriptive and raw towards the end. i wouldn't follow the same path either if he were in heaven too. i love how you always keep it real. phenomal poem. your brilliant.