Awaiting the storm

by dying emo   Jun 24, 2008


When a baby is born, a person dies
When someone laughs, another cries
When accepted, one's denied
And feelings get tossed aside
Into the light's dark
On a passage one must embark
Into their lovers hate
In order to find their fate

One's darkness is another's light
A person sees, another looses sight
Something is given, another is taken
One is right, the other is mistaken
All is silent, another scream
A persons reality, another's bad dream
Ones fame becomes another's shame
Judgments of others are to blame

One prays for peace, another to fight
One wears black and the other white
One is healed and the other bled
Now dead because of words unsaid
One is cold, the other warm
One sits upon a rock awaiting the storm

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Phantasmagoria

    Into the light's dark
    On a passage one must embark

    That rhyme seemed very forced.

    Your second stanza was the strongest to me, and your use of contrasts brought a good view of your main point. It seems like an arguement, yet isn't stated with an arguementative tone. I think that the ending could have been stronger, but there aren't many lines that were out of place which is good, especially in a poem that uses rhyme as much as yours did. Most of the time an entire poem will either lie on cliche or the rhyme will be so forced, so repetitively that the poem is then ruined. And like I said, your contrast was good, but I think it might improve your poem if you describe things a little more and use the full extent of your creativity.