One Thing

by Lori   Jun 25, 2008


I can't help but to hide
Or try to make things right
I can't let go of the memories
Or grab on to those ones on your sight

With all my strength
I can't let you go
Love has its own length
I'd think you would know

I can't pretend I'm ok
Since I was so close
I was at the edge of finding a way
to getting the one I care for the most

I can't make you be alright
With what your friends were telling
They said you were great at acting
Like it was your love you were selling

Too bad, I knew if you were good at acting
You would take up drama and be quite refracting
Too bad I'm not your friends, I knew you were staying
I knew you were true to everything you kept saying

You can sure fool your friends
But you can't fool me
They can't even see your sensitive side
And miss the man you can truly be

I only wish you had more for me
And less for them
Because I'm the only one to see
Your inside hem

I can't bite my lip
And pretend I'm not strong
I can't pretend my heart doesn't rip
When I'm not in your song

One thing I can do is read your heart
I can also tell whether you're hurt
Or when you need time to part

I just wish you would come find me
And tell me how you feel
But that's never going to happen
Since your friends make sure I'm not real

One thing you should know before I let you be
Regardless of your friends, I'll always be real
You have your own eyes, so use them to see
The one thing that's most important is how you feel

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    "I can't help but to hide
    Or try to make things right
    I can't let go of the memories
    Or grab on to those ones on your sight"

    -- I gotta be honest -- this made no sense to me. The last line completely threw me off. I'm a little slow, though. rofl. :D

    "With all my strength
    I can't let you go
    Love has its own length
    I'd think you would know"

    -- I think you should change "I'd" to "I" and "think" to "thought". "I thought you would know"

    "I only wish you had more for me
    And less for them
    Because I'm the only one to see
    Your inside hem"

    -- I think you should even up these lines a bit. It'd look better. But that's the only negative thing I have to say.

    "One thing I can do is read your heart
    I can also tell whether you're hurt
    Or when you need time to part"

    -- I think you should add another line here. I'm not a big fan of poems that have stanza's with different number of lines.

    *Overall, I thought this was good. Again, the rhyming was good, as was the flow. The emotion was strong, which is always an awesome thing in a poem

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This one has a nice rhythm and I can tell it is about a personal disappointment

  • 16 years ago

    by Shellaine shelli

    This poem was like daggers stabbing the reader and keeping them captivated to read on. each word was as powerful if not more than the last. It was amazing!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert Anthony

    Nice! This was a really great poem, nice job, 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Chelsea King

    That is one of the best poems i have ever read!! You have a really good talent that most people would take for granted, but you took it and make it into a beautiful peace of work!! Definatly a 5/5!!

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