Haunting, emotional, and quite original. I adore this piece, very nice wording.

"an eternal struggle wet like cement
unformed, unoriginal, grey
i sit inside like a lonely outsider"

^^^I especially love these lines, very touching!

I understand this much better now than when I first read it. Your words are powerful. They draw a vivid map of your mind to me.

"skintight inside of this diving bell
fingernails down to the bone;
scratching at the seams."

^the struggle here is very clear. I love love the diving bell comparison. Oh perfection.

"an eternal struggle wet like cement
unformed, unoriginal, grey"

^these are actually my favourite lines becuase they pretty much some up life very well and realistically. life is a battle, and not always a pretty one at that.

"and when i don't fit into double zero clothes
i wonder if you'll ever look back."

^i don't know who 'you' refers to, but i think it can refer to everyone around you. i hope you're being smart about this though..it can get out of hand quite quickly.

Overall, this poem is beautiful. It describes an isolation and the struggles within a family very well. Says a lot about human relationships and their effect on the individual.
I was touched. You words are profound Lucy. Keep it up! :)
--Viola

Great choice of words and it's deep

You are a bit racist, arn'cha! Ha. Well, struggle and strive. No family is without secrets, and we all take a turn feeling disjointed. Good job expressing the dimensions of emotion, for "things" are generally not black and white, while keeping the story behind, personal. SHIZAM

Dark and twisted ripping emotion twisting and grinding to search for a feeling. I like it.

This was such an amazing read. You really deserve the win - congratulations my friend!! :) Loved the layers you painted of your family and all its faults - amazingly each one has them... but I loved the imagry you provided the reader with through your words - flippin bril piece - you really write well beyond your years.

xxx

Wow man i really liked this poem! gd job!

A brilliant write, love the flow and choice of words...outstanding well done.

Basically.......Brilliant!
I am your new fan.

Wow. absolutely brilliant. =)

I remember this nice girl.

good write.

Well, that was deff. something. This is my favorite poem for the day. Be proud. Good work!
Overall Rating: 5/5

By the way, how are you?

Congrats, Sorry for not commenting on this earlier but I was on an enforced sabbatical when you wrote this.

Very deep, very personal, your emotions portrayed very well creating good imagery, the inner sanctum of a family a peculiar place.

Cheerz Nicko

I truly miss you, and your writing.