Crying Shame {Triquatrain}

Well done......... great poem........ keep it going =)

A very sad piece of poetry. it was written very well and it flowed together brilliantly when i read it. the rhyme, i have to say, was absolutely amazing. i love how to wrote this piece.

"Nothing left anymore, he's out the door.
What is she to do?
Aching heart, now they're apart.
And she's left herself too.

Now she's gone, she was just a pawn.
In his stupid little game.
She's not missed, no one is pissed.
What a crying shame."

^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
My two favourite stanzas :)

it was very well written. a sad but fantastic read

Keep Writing, hun
As Always,
~NinjaGirl~

I was expecting it to be longer but, it worked.The beginning of this poem didn't really catch my attention but, towards the middle, I got more into it.I think that you should've used more expressive words instead of just the plain and basic vocabulary.Your rhyme and flow was off in some parts but, nothing major.All in all, it was a nice poem.

--amber--

Oh wow hun this was truly deep and had me hooked from the beginning. I could feel everything you expressed and I know that it came straight from your heart. I loved this style because everything just flowed nicely and nothing seemed forced. Well done *5/5*

I am glad you put that lil' piece of info in at the end cuz i was a lil confused while i read it as to what the rhym scheme was but onec i looked at that i went back and read it agian and understood completely.

Lost alone, broken and unsewn.
Her heart has been stomped on.
Taken away, her love is today.
She's left laying on the front lawn.
^^
i can almost feel the pain of the woman in this part...losing what is dear to her and lying in pain unable to do anything

Dead inside, to her he lied.
And she won't be okay.
Her eyes tear, she's with fear.
She can't go on this way.
^^
i can also feel the desperation that she feels in her mind , i can see her thinking about ways to die all because of this guy

Nothing left anymore, he's out the door.
What is she to do?
Aching heart, now they're apart.
And she's left herself too.
^^
this is my fav part cuz it shows what the powers of love can do to a person when they suddenly lose it.

Now she's gone, she was just a pawn.
In his stupid little game.
She's not missed, no one is pissed.
What a crying shame.
^^
this part hit me the hardes cuz it makes the reader think that no one loved her other than that one guy and now that he is gone there is no one left to care about what happend to her and why.

this poem was very well writen and with you being a grammer freak as you told me i can understand how there is no mistakes in this poem and that only makes the poem that much stronger in my eyes.