... If I knew you, and if you're ticklish, I would poke the crap out of you because of envy hoping you'd lose air for a few seconds and fry some brain cells so I could write prose better than you.

Haha, kidding! I adore you too much to do that ;D

I thought this was amazing. It appealed to me more than the one I read before this, probably because it's a lot more ... haunting to me.

So you start out with a pretty cliche line. And I'm thinking, Man, where is she going with this? And then I hit :

even he doesn't trust those butterflies fluttering from his lips.
`and I think my heart started to stutter. I don't know why, but I think I just found it intriguing, that butterflies fluttering is normally used in cooperating with the stomach ... to describe a loving feeling, but you used them to symbolize his beautiful lies, and the image was just mesmerizing (oh, haven't used that word in a while now).

Of course you don't. You're bespelled.
`Then I hit there, and the magic sort of goes poof! and in flies the angered tone, which is how I saw it. It implied DEARLY that the person was extremely daft and you were pissed. Possibly at yourself? Hm.

Then lets your soul drop from that cliff.
`Oh, oh, oh! Interpretation time! In love, when you're in that person's arms... You feel like you're on cloud nine, and you're flying, reaching for the skies and you're just so up there. I'm pretending that this cliff is so tall, it touches the clouds, and he's your life line. It's like you're about to fall off, but he's holding onto this rope tied around your waist. He's gripping you until he's tired and just lets go, but he always retakes the rope and keeps you from falling until he's tired again, and it repeats, until you can't take it anymore, or you've hit the ground. Only when I think of you hitting the ground, you're safe, because you've been "lowered" in his standards bit by bit, and you can finally just...walk away, but do you choose to? Or are you going to wait there and see if he'll pull you up again.

Your eyelids slam shut without your permission. Breaths come few at a time.

Realization.

The unforgettable had been forgotten.
`So haunting, the last few lines. That single word just pops! And the ending, is just so heart-wrenching; it stuck with me and just stalked my thoughts.

Wonderfully written, I feel. Sorry for rambling -.- But your words got my mind going on an interpretation frenzy, trying to sound brilliant. xD
..__MiNDYY

EXCELLENT POEM! "The unforgettable has become forgotten" was my absolute favorite verse! Keep up the good work!

Wow. Cayce, one of these days will you teach me how to write prose? Because it looks like a fun style and I dunno howwww!!

Lying limp on the floor of the bathroom. This seems familiar.. Steam is making your vision misty. Tired. Too tired to cry anymore, too tired to even breathe, with that thump in your chest harassing you.

^^ First off.......wow. just like..breath taking. "steam is making your vision misty". I don't even know why i love that so much, but my heart fluttered when i read that...lol. absolutely just a stunning verse/stanza/segment thing you've written there..

i didn't like this one as much as "waitin for the sun" or whatever it was called ((pardon me, i suck at names)) because it didn't seem as though you put in as much emotion. but maybe i'm wrong. ya never know. :P

regardless, this was a very good piece, m'dear and i loved it. keep up the good work. ^.^

~Gabby

This is amazing.. i really love this poem...

and whats funny is my sister was on the phone at the same time i was reading this .. and she was telling her bf to stop breaking promises.. and i read to her your line "promises are just lies in disguise" i thought it was funny... she didnt lol.. but anyways..

your poem really got to me .. it just hit straight to the heart. i love it. 5/5

Omg, no matter how hard I try, I absolutely cannot write a prose! This poem was really powerful. I was amazed at it, to say the very least.

Amazing poem, great job!! 5/5

WOW!! i love it! its so powerful!