When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes
My sister is laughing and waving, gesturing excitedly
When I open my eyes
Chaos
Confusion
When I close my eyes
My mother is in the kitchen, a lazy afternoon making her famous apple pie
When I open my eyes
Mud
Blood
Fear
When I close my eyes
My father and my brother are outside throwing the football around the yard
When I open my eyes
Flashes
Confusion
Screams
When I close my eyes
My sister and I are trying to steal freshly baked cookies from under my Mother's watchful eyes
When I open my eyes
I am kneeling in the mud over my brother
Bombs are falling overhead and spraying shrapnel everywhere
When I close my eyes I am holding my fiancees hand watching the sunset
When I open my eyes
Bullets whiz by my head as I lay over my younger brother's lifeless form
When I close my eyes
It is Thanksgiving and the delicous smell of turkey is wafting through the air
When I open my eyes
One of my comrades is trying to drag me off my brother
A bomb falls nearby
Bullets are flying everywhere
Madness
Insainty
When I close my eyes
I don't open them again.