This Nightmare

by BREEawNUHH   Jun 28, 2008


She lays down at a quarter 'til 11,
on the soft pillows is where she places her head.
All she wants is a good nights rest,
but she hears a loud noise as she gets into bed.

This alarms her, makes her gasp,
"what was that?", she says to herself.
She stops and thinks,
and grabs the shiny gun on the shelf.

He taught her to use it right before he left,
because he had to go away.
But she didn't think she'd have to use it,
on a day like today.

The sun had shone,
the weather had been great.
That doesn't mean anything,
for tonight will decide her own fate.

She creeps towards the bedroom door,
and slowly opens it.
She walks to the top of the stairs,
a sees a man with a ciggarette lit.

He's a dark, brooding figure,
he could take her down without a thought.
She knew this in her head,
and prays she's not caught.

He moves down the hall,
and she walks down the stairs.
Her tiny frame doesn't make a sound,
she's ready with the thing she bares.

She makes an attempt to follow him,
and he's got no clue.
He's about to get a surprise,
from her little friend she called "blue".

"Oh, no", she says quietly,
she can't find him anymore.
What is he looking for,
while giving himself the grand tour?

She keeps moving,
in an attempt to stay alive.
That's all she can focus on,
is how to survive.

Out of nowhere,
she's grabbed from behind.
He found what he was searching for,
it was her he did find.

She was kicking and screaming,
this reaction is to be expected.
To try and break free,
is how she is affected.

"Shit", she says in her head,
because he's made her drop her gun.
"Don't worry", he says in a dark, raspy voice,
"I just wanna have some fun."

He forces her to go upstairs,
to her lit up bedroom.
When the door is closed,
it causes a big boom.

He pushes her down,
starts removing the things she wears.
She lets out another gasp,
as she wakes up from this nightmare.

Briana Coulter
06/28/08

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Wow. This piece was so easy to follow and I could picture ever little thing that you explained so vividly. This poem is full of imagery and suspense in a way. I felt like I just couldn't stop reading. This piece was wonderful beacuse it was kind of told in story form, yet you managed to make it flow so perfectly. This piece was very well written. I love poems like this that are kind of like stories and are so suspenseful and you want to see what happens next. Like a really suspenseful movie or something. I loved this piece a lot, it was a really interesting read although the whole thing was sad. Very nicely done, hun. I was impressed! 5/5. (:

  • 16 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    An amazing piece full of great imagery. i saw it all in happening my mind as i read it. you tell the story very clearly with all the description and make the reader feel as though they're really there. there was only one thing about this poem that annoyed me. some of the rhyming seemed a bit forced, but otherwise it was an absolutely brilliant piece. i once again have to say that the imagery was fantastic, very vivid :)

    5/5

    Keep Writing, lovely
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 16 years ago

    by ForeverYoung

    Hey :)
    my account wont let me comment love poems sorry, so ill do 2 others instead :)

    This is really good, its a scary story, i hope its not true :)
    you did a really good job of telling the story, and rhyming it.
    your rhyming is good, but a little cliche, thats really the only negative :)
    it flows nicley too!
    5/5
    -Steph

  • 16 years ago

    by sweet escape

    At fist i thought it was her boyfriend and she was going to kill him...but the way you made the reader think it was one thing and turn it around to be another is amazing.

    this is a great poem and i love the way you use a lot of womans fears and made it into a dream.
    great job
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by MikaMad15

    Great Poem, Had The Best Images In My Head. Good Work =D