Quiet Heart's Confession (586) [[CONTEST]]

by NinjaGirl   Jun 28, 2008


Quiet Hearts Confession

I would confess to you
A million reasons why
I feel this way for you,
Each and every day.

If I was brave,
Then I'd tell you why,
I'd tell you why I cried
And why I died, inside.

If I was truly happy,
I would run up to you
And hug you and kiss you
And I would TRY for you.

If I was true to myself,
Then I'd admit that
Letting you go is futile
But I can't admit that...

My quiet heart would confess
Every tiny little secret to you,
If it meant that you would love me,
If it meant that you would hold me...

But I could never do that
In fear of being pushed away...
I love you so much, but...
Maybe we should stay friends...

*

This is the quiet confession
Of a heart, burdened with love
And maybe it's because I love you
That I have to let you go...

~For a contest and also Dedicated to Daimon~

©opyrighted by ~NinjaGirl~

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I'm really not a love poetry fan at all. >.< So I admit I'm probably being somewhat biased when reviewing this.

    I feel you could do a lot better than this. Everything just seems too simple. You could expand some imagery, increase your vocabulary, to help keep people's attention.

    For example, take this stanza:

    "But I could never do that
    In fear of being pushed away...
    I love you so much, but...
    Maybe we should stay friends..."

    There isn't very much description or detail here, it's just simple words upon simple sentences.

    I'm not trying to pick your poem to pieces or anything, this is purely my opinion. Though I feel if you just worked on expanded your description and vocab, your work could be amazing. It's not bad, but it could be better.

  • 16 years ago

    by mandy

    Absalutly beautiful...Love it darling.

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