Reminiscence Part2: I remember when (596)

by NinjaGirl   Jun 28, 2008


Reminiscence Part2: I remember when

[[From the view of a girl reminiscing about their lost love]]

I remember when we were friends
And how I told you everything...
I kind of figured that you told me everything
Because of that night when I ran to you,
I remember how I cried
And how I told you that my boyfriend had dumped me
I remember that you held me close
And stroked your fingers through my hair,
Almost lovingly, with your gentle fingers...
I remember when you whispered into my ear
That he was an idiot for dumping me�
I remember when you kissed my cheek softly
With your tender angel lips,
- I wanted that moment to last forever -
And it calmed me down
Enough to kiss your cheek
And I felt you shiver
So I asked if you were cold,
I wish you cherished the moment
Because I had said it...
Then I asked about your mother
And you told me she had passed away
- Oh, I could've cried for you -
And you cried into my shoulder
And I comforted you
Then you whispered, through your tears, that you would try for me
And I was lost for words
So you just kissed my forehead
And we sat there in silence
But before I knew it, I was falling asleep
And you were still awake because you ran your fingers through my hair...
While I slept, I dreamt of you
And you smiled at me before leaning close to my ear
And you whispered three little words
Those I wished, with all my heart, were real,
You whispered "I love you"
And I know that you don't feel that way
Because I've loved you all my life...

©opyrighted by ~NinjaGirl~

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Really, what I said in my 'part 1' of this poetry series applies to this part two. Pretty much to a T, except there wasn't nearly as much repetition in this part - and therefore I'm strongly favouring this one over the other.

    Nicely penned. Once again, a sweet write.

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I love how these poems were pretty similar. which obviously was on purpose. i like how you said in the first one.. do you remember when.. and now you are stating what you remember..very beautiful. i think this one held more emotions and such, mainly because it was coming from your point of view. this one was pretty good.... but again, i encourage you to expand your vocabulary. i know you've done it in this past with your poems.. i'd like to see it again. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by InvisiblyHeartless

    The way this ties into the other one is amazing.
    in my opinion this one is slightly better, it gives the full opinion and background story. the emotions are portrayed much more delicate and available.
    some of the lines excede length value for this sort of piece. and the words get repeated a lot. but its good other than those minor things.
    fabulously written

    Lexie

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    Again, this part was just a beautiful as the other. Though, I can't say much of anything different because it was pretty much the same, only from different sides. However, both pieces are wonderful, and both get 5/5's.

    So.. 5/5

    -Briana.