Not Beautiful Enough

I can remember you telling me I was fat as a child,
And that my teeth were crooked once when I smiled.
I can remember you yelling at me for breaking some things,
And you laughed when people called be an angel, cause I'd never get my wings.

When I grew up, I remember visiting you was a new form of hell.
After my parents left, you'd always start to yell.
My sister was perfect, so creative and nice, so you left her alone,
And I had to stand there, by my self, hearing those words on my own.

I remember wanting to yell back, make you feel as I did,
But I was childish, I was weak, just a little kid.
I could never make you hear, I could never fight.
Because your older than me, which means, you were the one that's right

I remember you told me I looked like a troll when I let my curls be,
And you told me no one would love me if I kept being me.
I swore myself, I'd never listen, I would still go on,
But when I look in the mirror, my curls are all gone.

I straighten them to make you like me, even though I don't like you,
What the hell do you want from, if it's not me, then who?
Why do you love my sister, what did I do wrong?
Why did you love her, when she fell, and I stood strong?

I can remember you puching me in the face,
And shouting that I now had fallen from grace.
You hit me again, and my face started to bleed,
And you told me this was something I deserved, and need.

Stop telling me that I'm unworthy, stop it, it's enough.
I am not powerful, or noble, wise or tough.
In front of you I freeze up, just like a little kid once more,
And the words still make my heart bleed, it touches me to the very core.

I can't take it anymore, I don't want to fight.
Don't worry, I believe you, I know your right.
I'm nothing like her, I'm not pretty or nice.
I was made this way, and I got to pay the price.

Stop telling me I'm ugly, don't worry, I get it,
I am a freak of nature, and I will never fit.
I am a fake, I'm awful, I will never be true.
I am ugly, simply not beautiful enough for you.