I think it's absolutly amazing! you had some good, strong words in your peice. i cried too. just thinking that a close friend of mine could actually die made me love this poem even more. 5/5 niiiiice |
I often don't read my own poems but there are a few that I read every once in a way because they always seem to make me think, make me emotional. I really like this piece because we often don't realize that just because somebody is smiling doesn't mean there happy. The eyes really tell the whole story and it's a shame most people don't care enough ot even glance. Excellent poem I could elate to it all so well :) 5/5 GodsGift23 |
Wow girly that was amazing!!!! it was very deep and worded perfectly. you did a wonderful job on it. it was truly outstanding!! id have to say thats up there with the favs of mine of urs... keep it up!!! 5/5 always |
by Blueleo
It's a scary thought to know how others would feel if they could touch your soul. I loved it. 5/5 |
by kimberly
Writing from the heart is always good! Keep up the amazing work and remember alot of people feel the same way! you have great strength to be honest!! Take care kim |
by Melanie
AWESOME!!! I almost cried! It expresses a lot of feeling. |
by Asher
Beautiful everything was like putting you there you felt all of the emotion i love this |
This is really a very nice poem, i loved it all the way, spl the following stanza |
by Sourav
I think it's a good poem. Certainly I enjoyed reading it. It flows well too. Very good piece of writing. Well done! |
by Josh
This is quite sad. It really brought back some hard memories but I mean that is exactly what poetry should be: picking out pieces and having them relate to your life and speak to you. i do have a suggestion: in the last line of the second stanza I would have written "That is living deep within me" it flows a little better and then third line of the fifth stanza where you say "Im trying to put back together the pieces of this puzzle of life" I would take out "the pieces of" again I think it might flow a little better. Like always if you want explanation just ask. |
by Simply Josh
Wow. Well as soon as I read it I was like "Damn that was great." As I read it I could just picture you writing in your diary and I can understand why you cried when you read it. The emotions were felt throughout this poem and it just invites you to read further and further. It really tackles the issue of identity and it can be hard so well done. Excellent work |
by ash
Very good poem. i do that all the time rereading my stuff. my poems are sometimes kinda like my dairy for me. |
"Can you see the visible lies that have broken my spirit? |
by Just Jade
Omg ... this was beautiful ... my eyes are waterin and believe me not much moves me |
by NinjaGirl
When i first saw this poem, i thought it would be nothing special, but as i progressed through it, i realized how special it was. i like your idea of someone telling another to look into their eyes and say what they saw. and i liked how you asked if they saw this or if they saw that. it really is a special piece. |
by Jemma
Wow, that's incredibly emotive! |
by Lousy Eyes
This is a really good poem, strong yet sad. You can get so much from looking into someone's eyes, what they're really feeling inside and whatnot. And it's a true shame how sometimes people don't really see them. And so they don't ever really look at YOU. I really loved how ended this by changing the focus to another person. I'm trying to pick my favorite line or stanza, but I really can't. I enjoyed everything. |
by Megan
You said after you reread it you cried? |
by SweetGrief
Can you see my soul, |
by Nicko
Some good stanza's here, good rhyme and flow, for me the metre falls away on some of your stanza's though and a little to wordy for me, but any poem written from the heart needs to be read |