Sometimes my heart breaks. from under the pressure of my mistakes.and here i am, trying to find strength when theres nothing but weakness. and I'm trying to find beauty beneath all my pain.trying to find a jewel in one tear but i can't ever seem to smile when you're near. i give out a fake laugh, trying to change what i feel inside. but all i want to do is run and hide. but i cant do it anymore.I'm done with pretending to be something I'm not. pretending to be everything you want.so here i stand, real for the first time screaming i love you and giving you everything I've got. and theres not much left, but I'm begging for a chance.so look me in my eyes, and try hard to see past the blur of my tears. and try to remember how beautiful i looked with a smile.try to go back to the day where you told me everything about yourself, and how i took it in and it never came out. i fell in love with everything you are.but when i look into your eyes, all i see is what you used to feel and it gets reflected into my heart and it burns deep and a scar is left and i run away from you so fast i get out of breath and then i turn to things that are only going to kill me worse. and you really shouldn't be here. kissing my lips and holding me close. if to you ,it's only a joke.i try to yell at you, or scream "No!" but I'm muted by the way your hand can grasp mine and make it look so small. or how when I'm in your arms i feel like I'm not a half a person anymore. but on the inside I'm doing whats right. but on the outside. I'm in blissful silence. not telling you whats really on my mind.
