You're Like a Record.

by Courageous Dreamer   Jul 2, 2008


-*Written for a Contest.*-

You're perpetually on my mind.
The feelings I have for you-
Blossom more each day.
They are everlasting...
and will not disappear.

You're like a record on repeat.
The image of you in my mind,
repeats over and over.
It never stops, nor rewinds;
Fast-forwards or pauses.
It is one of the things,
That I can't remove.

You have the eyes that sparkle,
The smile that gives me butterflies.
You have everything -
I've ever wanted and needed.
But, why...
Do I have these feelings for you?
Why do they repeat so many times?

6


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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    This one is very cute and romantic. I loved the metaphorical content in ur piece. I really enjoyed it. :-)

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    Oh boy can I relate with this. That image just wont get out of your mind and you keep seeing him in everything you do. I liked your flow here because it didnt seem forced and the word usage was also great. I could not see one bad thing. Well done I hope you win! *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    Don't use a period in the title. :)

    The and and the repeats are the only ones not capitalized in the whole poem. That's off beat from the rest of the poem.

    and will not disappear.

    You're like a record on repeat.
    The image of you in my mind,
    repeats over and over.

    It wasn't bad. I felt the ending should have been different. I mean, yeah the questions were nice because it makes the reader think after the poem is done, but to me it felt like it was missing something before hand to go into more detail.

    Good poem though. Four out of five.

  • 16 years ago

    by H E Losey

    I enjoyed this read, and see you fixed your typo.
    I guess some people would say anything written would be a "cliche'" as each word has been used before, by someone, in the same way, at least a couple of hundred times. The entire lnaguage is passe'.

  • 16 years ago

    by The Prince

    Thanks for the comments!
    People never read my poems cause I'm not techincally English but poems are my passion.
    And this poem is great, don't listen to what other people say.
    The punctuation is not distracting :)

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