Repulsion feeds my own compulsion
and this cycle of hatred carries on
resigned my life over in a moment
and now I am too far gone
My simple goal is to be thin
In the end I want to win
It has become a quest
And I cannot rest
I am simply searching for perfection;
Swimming through the deepest seas
But now I am stuck Forever with this affliction;
and the battle throws me to my knees
I need someone to tell me
That I am beautiful though I am not
I need someone to say Im perfect
To make me believe Im good enough
And as I try to move along
Not eating as much as I can stand
striving to be thinner
To have the smallest waist-band
They dont see how far Ive gone
And how close to the end Ive gotten
To them everything is alright
And I sit alone and forgotten
A simple mask
I hide my hunger
for to be thin
I cannot eat
Until I reach my painful goal
I will be left pretending Im whole
everyday
putting on a show
Because I am stuck in the cycle of this half-life
I long to be flawless pristine and pure
a part of me wants to back away now
but my heart my soul needs more
For I am a reflection of imperfection
I hate myself too much to
�
give myself some affection
I give myself negative attention
How can you let something go
if everything and anything
reminds you of it?
when that one thing is
controlling your entire life?
how can you take control
of your own life again
when that one thing
is haunting your dreams
every night?
how can you love
when it has formed
a thick shell around your heart
shielding you from everything
good or bad?
how can you possibly become
comfortable with talking about it
when you can barely say the word
without breaking down?
how can you become everything
you want to become
when that one thing
is making all your decisions
despite of whether
you want those decisions
or not?
