Flying {Prose}

by dollwithafrown   Jul 4, 2008


You take my hand first. You wrap your long fingers round my knuckles. It feels like lace, silky and smooth against my fragile skin. I look at you, and you're looking down. Outside. The wind is blowing roughly against our frames, but I don't feel scared. Threatened. There's nothing to be afraid of, because I have you here with me.

Holding on to each other tightly, you stand behind me. "You ready?"

I nod. Nervous, just a little bit. And we jump. And we fall. Down, down, down. But those nerves have evaporated, long gone into a past that's been barricaded from where we are. We're flying, like golden eagles on a day that sunshine played with us. I've never felt so free in my entire life.

It doesn't seem to matter that there's nobody else around, it's just us two. Together. It doesn't seem to matter that my parents are divorcing, or that my dog died last Wednesday, or that it could possibly rain tomorrow, or snow, or hail. It doesn't matter that you're going to Georgia next month for a year. It doesn't matter that the sunshine doesn't last through the darkness. Because for this very moment, this exact moment in time, we're two hearts flying at the speed of light, lingering in each others heart and soul, not letting go. We want this moment to last forever.

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I got this idea after talking to a friend who was telling me all about his love for skydiving in Spain. It's been ages since I've put a piece of prose up here, and my last pieced sucked ass. Haha. So I hope you guys like this.

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  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    -- Before I begin, I feel inclined to tell you that I, personally, am not a big fan of Prose. I used to take a class where I was supposed to write things like this, but I always sucked at them. Haha. Okay, to the piece;

    "You take my hand first. You wrap your long fingers round my knuckles. It feels like lace, silky and smooth against my fragile skin. I look at you, and you're looking down. Outside. The wind is blowing roughly against our frames, but I don't feel scared. Threatened. There's nothing to be afraid of, because I have you here with me."

    ^^ I liked this. However, I do believe "round" should be "around". Though, I could be wrong. I liked the emotion here. Sometimes, all that is needed to take away all of those fears is that one person.

    Holding on to each other tightly, you stand behind me. "You ready?"

    "I nod. Nervous, just a little bit. And we jump. And we fall. Down, down, down. But those nerves have evaporated, long gone into a past that's been barricaded from where we are. We're flying, like golden eagles on a day that sunshine played with us. I've never felt so free in my entire life."

    ^^ This is written beautifully. I like how to compare yourselves to golden eagles.

    "It doesn't seem to matter that there's nobody else around, it's just us two. Together. It doesn't seem to matter that my parents are divorcing, or that my dog died last Wednesday, or that it could possibly rain tomorrow, or snow, or hail. It doesn't matter that you're going to Georgia next month for a year. It doesn't matter that the sunshine doesn't last through the darkness. Because for this very moment, this exact moment in time, we're two hearts flying at the speed of light, lingering in each others heart and soul, not letting go. We want this moment to last forever."

    ^^ "..or that my dog died last Wednesday.." <--- It probably wasn't meant to be funny, but I did laugh at this. I think because it was just so random. But I liked this ending altogether. I quite liked how you described the two people in this piece, being together. They were happy, and they wanted that one moment to never end.

    Overall; It was a good piece of Prose. As I said, I'm not a big fan of it, myself, but I actually enjoyed reading this. I liked the emotion, and how you brought the love of the two people to life.

    5/5

    -Briana

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