This is my fate

thank u cobabe, i under stand that it makes it seem better, but when ur writing from ur heart and expressing ur self, u dont realy think of these things, all these things that i write come from my past, or the present,all the things i desire,there is so much in my life going on, that if i dont write i ahve to keep it all inside, and i do bad thing when i have to do that

I would have to agree with Matthew. But let me tell you this. I was a very good piece. I really enjoy reading your poems.

hey, leave me the he// alone, i am only 12

I cannot stress this enough, using correct words can only strengthen the credibility of your poem. using lower case i in place of I, and u for you makes it seem like you don't really care about it, and ultimately it becomes less powerful. With that aside, it wasn't a bad piece, but still it could be better. I hope you don't think I'm being mean, I'm only giving constructive criticism.