Leave my heart

Great job, youv'e incorperated the emtion beautiful and the flow is very good, Theres only 1 little flaw and that is you havnt capitalized all of your 'I's
Brilliant job thought! this is a very good write =]

That was such an emotional poem very nice u clearly said what u wanted out how u felt and everything very nice job!!! 5/5 always
Kate~LSB

Acid tear drops
trace the palm of my hand
burning the paths
your memories once traveled

^ Excellent start my dear, it creates a mysterious image

your not the only one
you have no idea...
the losing pain you still drag me into
if you love me then disappear

^ I had to read that twice to for it to make sense. I don't know but I felt it should say "will" instead of "still". It would make more sense.

you say i'm in your thoughts
you never call or write
you say you love me, but it doesn't feel right
you murder my heart each and every time

^ I'm thinking there should be a "but" infront of "you never call or write".
"You murder my heart each and everytime". Breathtaking line you've got there.

you pushed me away
like i didn't deserve you
planking my emotions
under your steel shoes

^ I can feel the pain. So creative yet to the point. It creates a great image of someone stepping on your emotions as if they did not deserve to be noticed. Close to perfection, dear.

did you really expect me to believe
things would be different?
in your world, blinded by denial
you always made things perfect

^ Very neatly written. I can feel the almost sorrowlike feelings.

i'm obsessed with your spying eyes
but my vision is shielded with cries
are you strong enough to hold onto anything good?
cause i'm drowning my will to fight

^ Perfection.

i never could learn how to survive
without you by my side
always needing you more than myself
sacrificing my truth with your lies

^ Holy mother of all that is holy. Beautiful ending. I'm getting a very "first love" feelings by the two first lines, and yet the two last creates an image of a muture person. Almost as if the love is childish, and that's what makes it real?

All in all, I think this was very beautifully written, and I am amazed that this is written in such a young stage of your writing path.

I am giving you a well deserved 5/5.

Keep writing, dear, you have a sharp pen.

The Angel of Secrets