Im not ok

My eyes are red
my wrists are sour
my words can not be completed
the heart i once had
you stole it right there
and broke it before my eyes
the pain i have now
is worse then before
the wish for death calls me by name
louder each and every day
your happy now
with some better girl
i know i should be happy for you
but for some reason i still have to cry
i scream i hate you
but i know deep within
i still love you
with my bleeding broken heart
as people walk by
not knowing I'm dieing
i try to act just fine
but deep inside
i always cry
with the pain still growing
like a mad forest fire
i think there is no hope
for this moment in time
i am not ok
although i pretend to be
although i smile and say
"I'm happy for you"
all i want to do then is cry
with my wrists all torn
with my blood shot eyes
the hope inside me dies
my breath will shorten
my heart will die
and within that moment I'll smile
and say its going to be ok
the tears will fall
as i close my eyes
that shall never open again
the lifeless body upon the floor
motionless
breathless
broken and sad
but its ok
like i said
I'm happy for you
but what you don't know
is that
i died

for you