Who Am I?

I could really feel heart in it, there's not really a better way i can describe it:)

I like this one. I'm glad that you asked me to read it. This poem reminds me of all seventeen year olds. We are planning to get thrown into the "real" world only to find out that the adults lied, it doesn't get easier.

To me this poem shows just how messed up we are. Just like the weather.

Brilliant. This piece is epic. You write in a creative type of art yourself. Each word so eloquently put. I cannot fathom you even remotely writing a "bad" poem. This was beautiful and held many aspects of life. You have added a nice touch on family and friends. Art indeed comes in many forms. But my favorite would be music or poetry. But its often said "Music Is Poetry." or the reverse. You have not ebbed your talent at all since this was written. Your brilliancy only grows and expands. Remarkable gift you have. So flawlessly portrayed. I love the lack of rhyme. You created your own rhythm. I could hear the different melodies. All in harmony. Playing in tune and in unison.
Bravo.
*applauds*

-Lilium

"I opened my eyes to the feel of art.
Named after the first light of day, I was.
Beautiful, that's what they said.
Sometimes I believed them, sometimes not,
But it never really seemed to matter."

^^ I really liked this. I think it's a wonderful beginning to the piece.

"Growing up in a country where the weather
Is more mixed up than I am;
It rains at ten in the morning,
By three, there's a hint of sunshine,
By five I'm in front of the fire, it's cold."

^^ The first two lines are amazing. Also, I love how the last three lines.. explain, for lack of a better word, the first two lines. You say something, and then explain to the readers what it is you mean.

"Seventeen is such a small number to me.
I've barely lived, some may say,
But I've experienced a lifetime already.
Yet my picture's not fully painted,
This journey's not even past midway."

^^ Hm. I liked this, though I found the lines to go back and forth. The second line is saying you've not lived much of your life yet, the third line is saying you've experienced a lot, and the fourth & fifth go back to say you've not lived much of your life. My only suggestion would be, maybe, try to change it up a bit so as not to go back & forth. Of course, just a suggestion. :]

"My heart lies in a world of words,
Where poetic sounds are music notes;
Art is my pillow at night, where I can lay my head;
Family are the real stars; friends are my dancers,
They all play their owns parts, close to my heart."

^^ Ahh. This is beautiful. I love how you use the aspects of art to describe the things in your life. Art is your pillow, your family are the stars, and you friends are the dancers. I loved this.

"Yet when I wake up in the morning
The sun (or rain) still welcomes me,
And I think of what the day might bring.
The adventures I'll face in the coming hours,
And yet I never seem to know."

^^ I loved the ending. It was absolutely flawless. I really liked how, in the second line, you said "..(or rain)..". To me, it shows that there is a possibility for change, even if you're just talking about the weather.

Overall; this is an amazingly written piece. It's real and true because it's about your life, and life is real and true. Beautiful.

5/5

-Briana