Comments : Violent sea

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This is great, nice similes and imagery!

    "to bad it slips through your fingers"

    "to bad"- I don't think those are the best words to put there, just a little weird. Maybe change to:

    "But quickly it slips through your fingers"

    Just an opinon.....

    "like the sand in an hour glass"

    ^Nice ending line, really sums it up!