Behind His Smile

*written for my friend who had so much more to give and killed himself. I love you and miss you. I hope ur happy wherever you are*

I remember the day before
when everything was right
you called me up
and we talked all night

You seemed so happy
as you always did
always making me smile
just a normal kid

Everyone loved you
how could they not?
everywhere we went
your face no one forgot

When someone was sad
you were the one
that listened to their problems
and smiled when they were done

You were so smart
you know its true
every opportunity
was there for you

I remember your smile
you were a happy normal teen
who lived life to the fullest
or so it seemed

You loved to play sports
you were captain of your team
everybody loved you
you were never ever mean

But the smile you showed
you hid behind
i look at pictures of you
the more i stare the more i find

That behind those brown eyes
laid an invisible pain
no one saw
i feel i am to blame

I should have seen
what was hidden there
do u think i didn't love u?
do u think i didn't care?

When i got that call
my life would change
and nothing would ever
be the same

The voice on the other end
told me the news
about how u took ur life
this just couldn't be true

The pain is still fresh
and it doesn't go away
everything u did
and everything u used to say

And then at your funeral
when i saw your face
so cold and pale
lifeless but with grace

Where was your smile?
that always seemed to glow
where was your soul
where did it go?

Everyone around me
all they did was cry
but i had no tears left
i just wanted to die

Now that your gone
why cant u see
by killing yourself
you have also killed me