Comments : Burned

  • 16 years ago

    by H E Losey

    Youo have penned some very insiteful words here, keep them running in your mind as you settle yourself from this . Your rhyme worked well and your metre'/rhythm is improving.

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "Right now it's in pieces, and it won't go back together.
    Did you ever stop to think, "This time I really hurt her."?"
    ``If I were you, i'd break both of these lines into two pieces, resulting in 4 lines.

    Well written. You showed in this poem that you are more than frustrated with this guy and want basically nothing more than him out of your face beacause he broke your heart and cheated and lied to you. Sorry to hear if you really went through this, because heartbreak is not the easiest. Well done expressing emotions though. 5/5. (: