Jane

by Aryaan   Jul 10, 2008


Shining moon up above in the sky
Feeling so low, night passes by
Cold wind blows through like crispy ice
I'm losing out everything as each moment dies
No one is in here, no one's out there
Why can't I see you - standing at the edge of my despair
I'm getting crazy here; I'm running like insane;
Where are you my love - come back to me Jane...

Hopes are pale, lying like dead on the floor
Isn't it enough baby? Want to hurt more?
But how can you hurt me? You're nowhere
You promised to meet me & look I'm here
Then why can't I see your face - where is that touch?
Why didn't you give me a call - when I'm missing you so much?
I've paced through every street & crawled every lane
Please come back to me; I'm crying here Jane...

Such a big world and no one with me
I'm crossing the limit of my sanity
World seems so cold tonight - just like your hand
Why did you slip away make me understand
You talked to me yesterday how can I forget?
Why aren't you talking now, it's not your trait
I can't bear it anymore; I want to break this pain
I'll reach out to you at any cost, I promise you Jane.

Moonbeam shining through and I open the gate
I'm walking towards my destiny; I can't be late;
There you are lying down beneath the soil
See, I've found you to end this turmoil
You're always in my heart; you'd found there a place
Beside you, now girl give me a little space
There we'll sleep together till the very end
Once again we're united - me & my Jane!!

|| SRC ||

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by D

    Amazing.. <3

  • 16 years ago

    by Goodbye

    I hate the name "Jane". Sorry to burst it out. I can see a Tarzan movie on my head...monkeys running here and there. Lol to me.. :P

    I know you chose Jane because it is easy to rhyme with something.

    I like these lines
    "Hopes are pale, lying like dead on the floor
    Isn't it enough baby? Want to hurt more?"

    I felt some pleasure inside my heart reading them...This is sad love story. You worked well with the flow. Brilliant.

    I think you succeed with this poem... Everything...seems united. Story works, structure is nice. I just dislike the title for personal reasons... It is a vivid story...paints a lot of images.

    Well done.

  • 16 years ago

    by The Queen

    Very well constructed...You have a very imaginative mind and you have no difficulties of writing it down...I liked the ending it was very powerful although filled with extreme deep sadness..

  • 16 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    The first thing that captured my eyes was the goodness of your punctuation.And that was really heartfelt
    My favorite ones are;

    Such a big world and no one with me
    I'm crossing the limit of my sanity
    World seems so cold tonight - just like your hand
    Why did you slip away make me understand

    Keep it up,
    Laura

  • 16 years ago

    by Ash

    A very sad and painfully expressed write. Every line and every word expresses so much of detail into the love that was once shared. Excellent work! 5/5 from me.

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