What i am is nothing
what i am is a shadow
i am a renegade fighting
constantly fighting the massive
fighting the main stream idea
the idea of what i am supposed to be
because what i am is the light
i am a solider who fights for freedom
i fight for the most important freedom
the freedom of individuality
^^ If I were you I wouldn't say you were nothing... and then say you were a shadow because a shadow is something and thats kinda contradictory haha
^^When you say you are a light... It's kinda hard to believe when a shadow is really darkness.
I would fix it by changing the word shadow into something else... like forgotten or something synonymous to what youre trying to express.
Solider against the massive
by Jj
What I am is nothing.
what I am is forgotten.
I am a renegade fighting
constantly fighting the massive
fighting the main stream idea
the idea of what I am supposed to be
because what I am is the light
I am a solider who fights for freedom
I fight for the most important freedom
the freedom of individuality.
It just makes a little more sense. I know shadow sounds cooler but maybe with a thesaurus you could find something better that made a bit more sense? Idk! Great write though! I always give criticism to even my favorite poems so I mean the best. Its just my opinion!