If only for a moment,
I didn't have to feel.
Because when I do,
It's all too real.
Completely lost with nowhere to go,
Never knowing I could ever be so low.
All these thoughts clouding my mind,
Willing to give up, leave this all behind.
Emotions rampantly taking over my soul,
I've spun out, I've lost all control.
This disease is slowly eating away at me,
With no way to fight back, no way to break free.
I've become my own worst enemy,
A deathly hazard to myself,
To such a dangerous and extensive degree.
Running in fear, screaming inside,
Such an important part of me has died.
With so much guilt and regret,
Needing to abandon this all,
I've been trying so hard to just forget.
I can't escape this, can't avoid it all,
Finally crashing down hard after the fall.
Sinking into oblivion is what I should do,
This would be so much easier,
If only you knew.
Ceasing to exist seems like the right route,
Can I go through with it?
Without having any doubts?
There's no use in patching myself up again,
Or in picking up the pieces,
This may very well be the end.
I'm bent in half, torn in two
Whatever way you see it,
It's all the same somehow,
You're just too afraid to admit,
Everything's too broken to be fixed now.
So if only for a moment,
I didn't have to feel,
Because feeling is the disease that's slowly killing me,
Feeling is what's all too real.
