Comments : Ain't no pretty Fairytale

  • 16 years ago

    by J u l e s

    I loved your poem hun, you did a great job on it. <33

  • 16 years ago

    by CareBear

    It's sooo good.
    a very sad ending but it's good. =]
    x x

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    You seem to have a gift of telling a story in rhyme. This poem not only flows well, but it's content is superb, I love the shocking twist at the end, sad, but evoking an emotion in the reader is a job well done!

    Well done

    Michael

  • 16 years ago

    by Alicia Jane

    Aww, its like the complete opposite to a fairy tale.. your relaly gud at making stuff rhym.

  • 16 years ago

    by El

    Great poem =)
    Fantastic rhymes
    Flows well
    and a nice end

  • 15 years ago

    by Saving Grace

    This is just, wow. Its very sad, but again, its another creative piece from you. It ends kind of unexpectidly, which is good. I liked this, is a good write. Nice job. xx 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by xX the left behind Xx

    Woahh..
    this one is great.
    blew me away the first time i read it. :)
    it flows and rhymes great.
    i loved it..keep up the good work.. :D

  • 15 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Aww..you set me up. Lol I read the first stanza and was like why did dhe put this in the sad section...now I know. I really liked this. I love stories and poetry and you did a wonderful job of doing two in one. I love the flow, the style, the diction...I can go on for days. Very nice work my friend. Nik

  • 15 years ago

    by xXHunnyGurlXx

    Once upon a time
    In a faraway land,
    A princess sleeps
    Cheek pressed to her hand.

    ^^This was the perfect stanza 4 this poem, i love how youve started the story off about her dream..

    Of rainbows and dewdrops
    of kittens and pups,
    of happiness and laughter
    and abundance of love

    ^^I think this was quite talented, how you managed to get the words 'pups' & 'love' into this stanza when ppl look at it they think thats not guna rhyme..
    But it flows beautifully.

    Of yellow dandilions
    of autumn and spring,
    of a jewel laden crown
    of necklaces and rings.

    ^^This stanza.. i dnt no but it didnt seem to flow that well for me.

    Once upon a time
    In a faraway land,
    a little girl sleeps
    cheek pressed to her hand.

    ^^LOVE the way youve re-worded your starting stanza so that it fits the real story & not her dream..

    Her dream floats away
    as she nurses her scars,
    ignoring grim headlights
    from ongoing cars.

    ^^When i red this i knew strate away the bast to the story.. It so well-worded & flows so well, itd almost make you cry.

    Her dream's her escape
    Her hope and her light,
    But this little princess
    wont live through the night.

    ^^Awwwwww, this stanza was my favourite becuz it was so hart-felt, really up-setting. i loved how youve made the poem created a dramatic sadness.

    I think "dream's" cud be ''dreams". it sits a little better.

    *Hunny*

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "wont" should be "won't".

    "She's" should be "she's".

    Otherwise, the whole idea of this piece was well-thought out and the style was intriguing, I could have read more and more. I really enjoyed the images you gave that she was constructing, great rhyming and the descriptions were magnificint! I really don't have any more suggestions, the last line was sad and left the reader with sadness in their hearts.

    Well worth the read, one of my favorites by you so far :)

    Take care and God bless!

    ~MaryAnne