Freezing In The Arms of Loneliness.

by Courageous Dreamer   Jul 12, 2008


-*Written for a Contest.*-

She's in his arms yet again-
she feels no consolation, no passion, nothingness.
Everything that once was, vanished.
All that is left is an incoherent girl who is cloistered.

The words she wants to confess to him-
she can't express, for causing a fight is her biggest fear.
So she proceeds to be held close within his arms,
that contain no warmth, just loneliness and cold.

She quivers in his arms every night,
and shines a beautiful smile as she cries inside.
The man who she thought was flawless,
has now become her source of emptiness.

    report violation
3


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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Love Fallacy

    Interesting poem. Not sure if i understand it fully. She isnt in love but cant say anything because she fears a fight. I like it. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Austin

    I know you wanted me to rate your newest poem, but I really liked this one. It reminds me so much of the book Twilight. You did a good job capturing anxiety in this poem. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    I think this poem was amazing BUT there was a lot of repitition. You used the word "she" and "arms" quite too many times throughout the whole piece which kinda threw off the flow for me. Besides that I adored this piece! I loved what you expressed as a person that once brought warmth now brings loneliness. You used the title perfectly and truly wrote a beautiful piece with a little repitition. I do think this poem is great as is but a little face lift will make it flawless. Well done *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Janalicious14

    Great poem..
    but i think it needs a little improvement..
    just like me..
    i also need some..
    ahaha..
    but i find it slight hard to improve..
    but i believe you can do better..

  • 16 years ago

    by Goodbye

    This is poem is awesome. Why? Structure -beautifully designed. Words - carefully picked up. How it made me feel -I felt the poem was touching. Did the writer succeed? -Yes!

    Two last lines were brilliant. I think this poem is like a piece of art. Congratulation -you really did a good job.

    This poem describes the sadness and painful moment extremely beautiful way.. The poem felt very real. I think you are very talented writing about emotions.

    Good luck for contest!

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