Ohhhhh, it was a very sweet and sad poem. Very pretty. Five out of five.

I love the way you worded everything.

This is beautifully touching. I love the choice of words and teh feeling behind it. Great work! 5/5

Aw. Wow. This is beautiful.

"She's in his arms yet again-
she feels no consolation, no passion, nothingness.
Everything that once was, vanished.
All that is left is a incoherent girl who is cloistered."

^^ I loved the beginning. It's absolutely wonderful, with brilliant word choice.

"The words she wants to confess to him-
she can't express, for causing a fight is her biggest fear.
So she proceeds to be held close within his arms,
that contain no warmth, just loneliness and cold."

^^ I couldn't think of a better way to word the middle. I feel as though it brings everything together just perfectly, the way the middle of a poem should.

"She quivers in his arms every night beneath the stars,
and shines a beautiful smile as she cries inside.
The man who she thought was flawless,
has now become her source of loneliness."

^^ Ah! Beautiful! This was an amazing ending. The emotion is pouring from the piece.

Overall; Obviously, I loved it. The word choice was superb, as was the feeling and emotion in the piece. Everything was worded flawlessly.

5/5

-Briana

Oh wow a short but sweet read seriously. The last two stanzas captured a gaze in my eyes. I could feel the pain and can relate

An enjoyable read with a nice metre and a well expressed theme one of the better I have read. I have one suggested change, fourth line change "a" to "an".
As always an opinion.

Oh, how terribly sad. I loved everything about this poem. It was full of emotion and sadness and it was just beautiful. I would put something else down, but that really just sums it all up! There's nothing that you need to work on!

I found this poem very easy to read The free verse flow was very soothing yet I could feel the sadness of a failure to communicate with a lover

This one stands out. I hope you win the contest

Very touching with a strong sense of sadness. Excellent word choice, especially in the last stanza [my absolute favorite part]. Best line: 'She quivers in his arms every night beneath the stars...' Great write =]

You used in his arms and loneliness too many times.

^She quivers in his arms every night beneath the stars,
(This line throws off the flow. You can take out the beneath the stars as that is not very realistic to be under them every night anyways..)

and shines a beautiful smile as she cries inside.( and is unecessary and a no no at the beginning of a line)
The man who she thought was flawless,
has now become her source of loneliness. ^(maybe use emptiness or another word since you have already used loneliness too many times.....)

I think it would be better with a few tweaks.

This is poem is awesome. Why? Structure -beautifully designed. Words - carefully picked up. How it made me feel -I felt the poem was touching. Did the writer succeed? -Yes!

Two last lines were brilliant. I think this poem is like a piece of art. Congratulation -you really did a good job.

This poem describes the sadness and painful moment extremely beautiful way.. The poem felt very real. I think you are very talented writing about emotions.

Good luck for contest!

Great poem..
but i think it needs a little improvement..
just like me..
i also need some..
ahaha..
but i find it slight hard to improve..
but i believe you can do better..

I think this poem was amazing BUT there was a lot of repitition. You used the word "she" and "arms" quite too many times throughout the whole piece which kinda threw off the flow for me. Besides that I adored this piece! I loved what you expressed as a person that once brought warmth now brings loneliness. You used the title perfectly and truly wrote a beautiful piece with a little repitition. I do think this poem is great as is but a little face lift will make it flawless. Well done *5/5*

I know you wanted me to rate your newest poem, but I really liked this one. It reminds me so much of the book Twilight. You did a good job capturing anxiety in this poem. 5/5

Interesting poem. Not sure if i understand it fully. She isnt in love but cant say anything because she fears a fight. I like it. 5/5