I'd love to know what you think when you look at me. You can't see the tears i cry on the phone at night when i tell the only person that will ever get me how i feel. but that won't work anymore because that person is no longer here.
maybe i hide behind my insecurities and fake this smile so maybe i'll feel loved for once.
it doesn't work.
maybe, just once i want to know how it feels to have someone who has my back no matter what
always by my side.
never
never
never again.
i won't.
i never did.
i never will.
could you please at least pretend to actually see me when you look in my eyes? i'm standing right here. you don't have enough fcking courtesy to tell me i'm ok. you sit there and pick out every bad thing about me you can possibly think of.
well fck you.
and fck everything i ever thought you were.
you will never amount to what i would hope for in a person.
i loved you.
fck everyone.
i don't give a sh_it what you think anymore.
i'm going to stand here and scream out all my mistakes and insecurites so you don't have to do it for me.
you can't stop me anymore.
i won't pause my life for you anymore.
i'm through being the victim, it's time i start having a life of my own. i love to look around and see how many people tell me to be myself and then hate me for it.
it's so ironic that i'm still alive. don't you think?
no. you don't. that's your issue. you don't think when you insult me.
this fcking razorblade doesn't cut deep enough to demonstrate to you how torn up inside i am.
