Inadequate Beauty

You wake up in the morning and you happily greet the day,
I wake up in the middle of the night with my only wish to go away.
When I am mad, I rage, you never yell,
You've earned your spot in heaven, while I am going to hell.

You live because you want to, I live because I have no choice,
You speak words of wisdom and love, while me, I have no voice.
I help because I feel I have to, you because you care,
I keep things locked away inside, you willingly share.

You smile with hope as you see the sky, I am filled with hate,
You are strong and you believe, while I, I have no faith.
I am angry all the time, you love your life,
When you're mad, you throw words, I throw a knife.

You see the sun, I see the rain,
You see the love, I see the pain.
You have discovered something I could never find,
You really care, I don't really mind.

I never wish for you to see what I see,
But you may have to, if you really want to be with me.
I have seen so much blood, you have seen a drop,
When you are in pain, it goes away, mine will never stop.

I am bringing you into pain, my life and my world,
The hateful world of just another ugly, broken girl.
When you die, all you have to do is walk toward the light,
If you spend time with me, you're going to have to fight.

What I see, what I feel, is going to break your heart,
You will see me being eaten alive, by the world, be ripped apart.
You can still live your life in your bubble, perfect picture frame,
You can walk away with pride, and I'll walk away with tears and shame.

You can abandon me at any time, don't worry, I'll be fine,
You hold on to the light that's yours, I'll hold on to the dark that's mine.
I'd lie if I said I really wanted you to go,
But no one has to judge you, and no one has to know.

Don't tell me I am pretty, because I see beyond it,
I have seen to much to ever be able to fit.
I am a freak, a broken angel, I will never be true,
I am simply not beautiful enough for you.