The death of me

by Amanda Rose   Jul 12, 2008


December was a cataclysm,
most broken along the city streets,
snow falls from a cloudy gutter,
and death is cast among the trees.

The sun throws a darkened shadow,
deep throughout a shady lie,
over cloudy painted landscapes,
that forbids a seldom bird to fly.

A lonely smile curls into a ball,
as an open light often flickers,
toes twinkle on a box spring mattress,
and soon enough they start to snicker.

The Knox embraces the days so quick,
as the fun and games begin,
but in time the joy is over,
and a smile soon occupies a sin.

Break away from all the zealous,
because the truth is a liar,
that smile that glares so harsh upon her,
in her mind begins a fire.

Rain falls in a personal way,
and the glare becomes a shutter,
she wished she knew it all along,
"never ever did i love her."

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by StandStill

    This is great, really. I love the imagery and the word choice. All of it conveys a super powerful image and for that, great job. :)

    The sun throws a darkened shadow,
    deep throughout a shady lie,
    over cloudy painted landscapes,
    that forbids a seldom bird to fly.

    ^^ This was definitely my favorite stanza because i could visualize it. The scene is powerful and blank, but absolutely stunning. "painted landscapes" is a beautiful description.

    that forbids a seldom bird to fly.

    ^^ this line didn't make sense to me, grammatically...a seldom bird..you've used seldom as an adjective here. and i don't know if you did that intentionally or not. but it stood out to me, so i thought i'd let you know..

    overall, great job. ^.^

  • 16 years ago

    by Tripp

    I really really like this. I remember reading it a while ago...I HELPED YOU WRITE THIS!!

    Well great job. I'd give it a 10 out of 5 if I could.

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