Its not you, its me

I'm a mess,
But nobody sees that.

I always smile
Unless I'm alone in the dark
So even I
Can't see the tears gushing out.

I'm pixie dust,
At least on the outside;
My insides
Are rioting rebellion.

I'm confident;
Thats my personality.
It makes up for
My confusing insecurities.

To see myself clearly
I lower the barriers

And all havoc breaks loose