Life Story{Really Long But Worth The Read}

She sits in her room with a sharpie in her hand
Writing down the words that no one understands
There's writing on the walls, up and down her arms
Explaining why she caused herself this mutilating harm

It tells a heartbreaking chronicle of her brutal life
And it's all there written in plain black and white
This story is for the strong, not the weak at heart
It'll bring tears to your eyes at why she finally fell apart

For as long as she can remember, her life was always hard
At the infantile age of eleven she started her self harm
She hid her many cuts and gashes from everyone's eyes
Wearing a smile all day only to go home and drown in cries

Her daddy was never that nice, alcohol was always on his breath
A bottle was always in his hand and caused her to pray for death
He would always tell her she could do better, he would always yell
She'd rather commit suicide then live in this home of bitter hell

There were many times when she would runaway and stay with her friends
Hoping and praying that her heartache would soon come to an end
But, no matter what she did, she always felt so depressed
And came to the conclusion that suicide was for the best

So one stormy night, while her aunt peacefully slept
She went into the bathroom, sat in the tub and wept
She took the razorblade and carved down her wrist
Slicing every vein, making damn sure she didn't miss

Three inch incisions carved down at each wrist's base
It was a shot at sweet death, not just an attention case
But, her aunt walked in and saw all the blood red
And when she woke up, she was in a hospital bed

They had saved her just in time, oh lucky day
Why didn't they understand that living wasn't okay?
Her wrists were stitched up and tied to the sides
No matter what she did, they just wouldn't let her die

About six months later, she tried it once more
But, she made a loud noise as she fell to the floor
And for the billionth time, she was sewn up like a toy
Why did they keep doing this, her life she wanted destroyed

Thinking it was for the best, they took her to a shrink
But, it only made her feel worse, pushed her to the brink
Her aunt had plenty of pills that was effortless to obtain
She ate two bottles of those and let her wrists drain

Once more at the hospital, she heard the doctors dread
And for once they actually thought that she was dead
But, her stomach was pumped and the stitches were sewn
Why wouldn't they take a hint and leave her alone?

She took a break from the suicidal tendencies and met a guy
He always made her laugh and wiped her tears when she cried
He was two years older and she'd just turned fourteen
But, when she was with him she'd forget all the evil things

Her aunt got her skin graphed and the scars disappeared
She fell in love and was with the same guy for years
He was her first and her only but, things soon changed
He started drinking and lying and nothing was the same

After a year and ten months, he broke up with her one night
She didn't really expect it, they no longer had any fights
Even though she's moved on, he's always on her mind
Wishing to forget him, wishing to turn back time

So here she sits again, writing on the walls
Trying to stay strong but knowing she'll fall
The razorblade is calling but, she still restrains
She doesn't want to lose the control she's fought to obtained

But, there's no one for her to talk to, they don't recognize
How much pain she feels and how much she really cries
The guy she's dating now is great and tries his very best
But, she's scared that he'll hurt her just like the rest

She's scared to give him her trust and her whole heart
Scared that he'll devastate her, tear her back a part
She sits there with a sharpie but what you don't see
Is how much she really hurts and the fact that she's me...

-Copyright-Amber Palmer

*This is a short summary of this thing of mine that i call "life".What I didn't throw in are:
-I attempted suicide like 4 or 5 more times.
-I was engaged to the guy that left me.
-I had been pregnant with his baby but miscarried.
---etc.*

((I had this poem on here before but some how it got deleted))