Comments : Beneath The Stars We Breathe Selfishly

  • 16 years ago

    by Cooper

    Absolutely beautiful ... there are no other words to describe it.
    You have a talent for wording.

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I've read this piece when you submitted it, but I haven't hat enough time to comment it. I read it for the third time now and it simply gets better and better every time.

    This is shorter than your other pieces, yet you managed to express emotions excellently. This poem is so deep and it can be interpreted in many ways which is great, because although it sounds like it's personal, written straight from the heart, many people can relate to it in different ways. I interpret this piece [although you probably hadn't that in mind when you wrote it lol] like- a girl cheated on someone she loves, and now she fights regrets.
    - I'd trim the strings of violins;
    if I thought it would stop sorrow. -
    ^^
    In my interpretation, those lines speak about her feelings after the things she did; she remembers the sound of violins from the night of her deception.

    - The world is a bitter place when;
    stars have forsaken the sky.-
    ^^^
    Here, the second line can mean- when she forgot about the strenght of her love.

    - Lilac impressions accumulate,
    Whispering scents of famish.-
    ^^
    The first line holds a memory, again, so the scent of lilacs entwines with sound of violins; the second line speaks of the memory of the lust she felt.

    - Inner light forgive me,
    I danced with the devil.-
    ^^
    Those lines speak of the intensity of her regrets.

    The ending lines, in my interpretation, hold another memory- she, selfishly, wanted to forget about the man she loves for one night.

    I probably misunderstood the poem, but I had to try to decipher it lol

    Overall, I love everything about this piece, especially all those descriptive details that made this poem so sad and beautiful at the same time. You portrayed breathtaking imagery, too.

  • 16 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    Without an explanation by the author I must admit this is way over my head and even with the comment above I can not grasp its depth, I of course have ideas as the poem stirred me by it simplicity and meter, God I love poetry and its thought invoking don't you. I am going to read several more of this poets poems to try to cone terms with her style before I cast a vote. Thanks I enjoyed the poem Ray

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    A flawless flow in this sad, but profoundly true poem

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Breathtaking piece, the flow was flawless and the emotions were clear as day....Nice write, the imagery was great through here....5/5 from me, take care...