Secrets that he doesnt know

He doesn't know
i love him
for he will not love

he is afraid of
what might happen
if he falls in love

will he
or won't he fall in love
he found out so
it was no longer a secret love

for u can not trust
people who say
they are your friends
but aren't

i found out my secret love
was not what i thought
for it was
a joke to him

he called me fat
he called me ugly
he called me creepy
he was a jerk

one of my first loves
that was secret
was only a lie

for he thought
of me from the outside
then the inside

he lost a grand person
for he lost me
and my love
and no longer secret