Aw. I loved this. I love poems that are written about real things.

["Please, I don't want to die."
I say with tears in my eyes.
"Your not going to!
I'm going to take care of you."]

^^ Third line -- "your" - "you're".

""He hit me... so many times.
He didn't think it was a crime,
But I love him with all my heart.
I don't know where to start."

^^ Nothing is wrong with this. However, I think maybe the last line should be reworded. Something like this.. "I don't know where I should start." I feel as though it would sound better when read.

["I'm sorry, it doesn't have to happen like this,
We can solve it with just a simple kiss!
I forgive you for all you've done!
But you lose life with a bullet my friend's gun."]

^^ The last line -- "..with a bullet my friend's gun..". I think maybe you should add "from" before the word "my" -- "..with a bullet from my friend's gun.."

I really liked this. Those few things I pointed out are the only things I thought should be fixed. The poem is still very well written. Some of the rhymes could be tweaked a bit, but it's just my preference/opinion.

5/5

``Briana

This poem was very well written and i'm sorry for what you've been through.

Always here for you, Always.

It's nice..
i see the sad and tragic image..
nice work..

This is so sad... If it really happened Im really sorry...

"I'm sorry, it doesn't have to happen like this,
We can solve it with just a simple kiss!
I forgive you for all you've done!
But you lose life to a bullet from my friend's gun."

^^I really liked the ending.. i think it was good... though the earlier part could have been better... but i could see that you have written it from your heart...

keep writing dear... :)

I love poems that are truley written. i love hearing other ppl's stories and yours was amazing. i loved this poem. it came from your heart. the flow was great and it was the deepest poem ive ever read. and the part where you said he beat you, i can understand that ive been there before too. but im so so sry for you loss. best of luck. 5/5.

I'm extremely sorry to hear about what happeend to you. I do like your poem, quite a bit. Usually when poems are personal they tend to show the emotion that you put behind them, and that makes the poem better over a lot of the rest. You have a great writing style, and the emotion you put behind each word can be felt so easily. Great job on this, and a great poem. I'm glad you could share this :)

This is a sad poem. It's written from the heart with genuine emotions. Ending is good. Nice work.

Ahhh, this poem gave me goosebumps. I'm sooo sorry to hear this happened to you. You did a wonderful job though bringing out emotions and such and sharing them with us. It takes a lot to write about a real expirience such as this.. Very sad write, but you did a wonderful job with your emotions which makes this poem a definite 5/5. [: