This hatred and fire he has captured in his soul,

has been captured*

This poem has punctuation ADHD. Go back through it and correct the punctuation.

Other than that it was pretty good. I enjoyed the word usage, although the rhyming in some parts was a tad odd. The concept was creative.

Overall I'll give this poem a four.

There is a period in the title...O_o Lol.

Wow.
You and James work amazing together...

I've never read anything like this.
It's beautiful, the way the words go together...
and the imagery is perfect.

5/5

You two should write more together :)