Perfectionist

I am what you may call a perfectionist.
I always want everything to be just right.
I want to please others, even if it means bending over backwards.
I want to see people smile because of me.

However, I am broken inside.
However, the world is actually cold.
However, I don't often do things right.
However, the only smile I see is the one in the photos.

I am just a name however.
I am the ex-cutter.
I am the one that never could go all the way.
I am the one that is still ashamed.

That was all before she came.
That was before she changed my life.
That was before I learned to smile.
That was before I changed my mind.

I only want her to smile.
I only want to make her happy.
I don't want to be a disappointment.
I don't want to see her cry.

However, I am still broken.
However, I still fall down.
However, I am not the same girl anymore.
However, I still hold back.

I have hurt her
I have killed the love
I have cheated and lied.
I have stolen and wanted to die.

But she held me in her arms.
But she fought the demons off.
But she is my world.
But she forgave me.

I am a perfectionist.
I am designed never to be satisfied.
I am fighting for this.
I am alive to be her perfectionist