What a fool

by kate   Jul 17, 2008


Oops, I'm back at it again.
you told me not to look back.
but I sit here with the razor again.
the blade is so sharp but yet so cheap.

I lock the bathroom door.
I'm ready to knock myself on the floor.
the blood pounding down my leg.
streaming like a water fall.
I hear my name being called.

outside the room, you ask If I'm ok.
but my mind is still racing on and on.
I keep on cutting, I haven't done this in months.
Its a shame I broke the habit but feels so good.
No, I'm not doing this because I think I'm cool.
I'm doing this because I feel better about myself.

here I am.
you unlocked the door.
you see me on the floor.
the blood is soaked into my skirt and shoes.
you start to mumble about something.
but I'm like wasted of cutting.
I can't hear and my eyes are blurry.

I hold out my hand.
hoping you would touch it.
the feeling of yours on mine.
I fell into place against yours.
the razor drops to the floor.
were I once have layed.

**This isn't true but I did just get out of the shower and I was shaving and cut myself which hurt, then this poem just came into my head, I use to cut but I've been clean for about six months**

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  • 16 years ago

    by HaileyHelen

    I hold out my hand.
    hoping you would touch it.
    the feeling of yours on mine.
    I fell into place against yours.
    the razor drops to the floor.
    were I once have layed

    I really love this stanza... something about this poem just makes it great! everything really, i guess. its great! captured my attention and the poem never got boring to me... great great job..

  • 16 years ago

    by smiley

    Oh am so sorry n am happy u dont cut ur self no more

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "streaming like a water fall."
    ``I loved this simile. :] Wow. Oh, and waterfall I believe is one word.

    "Its a shame I broke the habit but feels so good."
    ``It's not its.
    ``and if I were you id' say.. "It's a shame I broke the habit but [it] feels so good." --I added it in there. Sounds better that way.

    "the blood is soaked into my skirt and shoes."
    ``Ahh, I could totally picture this.

    "but I'm like wasted of cutting."
    ``You probably don't need the word like in there..

    ``Overall, a great write. I thought you did a pretty good job with the imagery in this piece. I'm glad to hear this poem isn't true.. and that you've been clean for 6 months. Congrats. :] Don't slip back into those bad habits though. Well done. This piece was full of imagery and great description. Nice to see another piece from you. Keep it up. 5/5 (:

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Im really glad that you have stop cutting... Whenever i read such poems I feel those cuts are slashed on me...
    good write... but could have been better... I hv read your other writes so I wont say this is your best... this is just my opinion...

    keep writing..
    4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by S R P

    A great write, I really enjoyed it. In some parts of the poem, it was a bit difficult to read due to the rhthym (I kept stuttering over words in my mind) but otherwise, it was a nice piece.

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