Wow that was deep!
amazingly writtin though
nice job!
<3
Lexxi

Awww your right it is sad but i love it! 5/5 :]]

My comment may be sort of long but I want to tell you what I feel for each part.

The day that I died was so long ago
It still haunts me now, more than you'll know
The day started like any other
All of together, mom,sister, and brothers

^^^ At first even though you said That day killed you. It sort of seemed like at first the day started off well but only ended in a nightmare.

We'd go to a picnic at a friends
How could I know how it would
While we played you just kept on drinking
And before long it got you to thinking

^^^ On the second line do you mean how it would end? Drinking brings out the monster in people, nothing ever ends well when a person starts to drink.

Thinking about problems you'd had
Soon a good time turned pretty bad
Too much to drink and then you passed out
Woken by a squabble, a yell, and a shout

^^^ Makes me wonder a lot of times. How something that started off so great some how always ends up being bad. Some times though you have to remember all the good things that happened even though you still remember all the bad.

All you heard were the words "I'm tellin'"
All the way home it's what you kept yellin'
Behind your seat I'd be hiding
You kept trying to hit, when you should have been driving

^^^ As in she/he was drinking while being drunk? That what will give you nightmares, remembering all the times you had to run and hide. I know the feeling of wanting to run away from a parent wanting to beat you, on the count of I had to do that for many years. But as I said it is always good to remember all the good just so you know that your whole life was not all that bad.

Then in a moment you thought what the heck
That's when a lit cigarette was put out in my neck
By the time we got home I couldn't even cry
As you kicked in my ribs wishing I'd die

^^^ This part really hit me the most. Made tears come in my eyes. I can not even come to believe why some one or anyone would ever do this to a child... But there are people in this world who are like that. It honestly leaves me speechless, as much as I want to just take away what had happened to you I know that can not happen. BUT I do want you to know that I will be here for you, seems like that is all that I can do. I will be here to try my best to help you just like you help me. Remember that okay?

No neighbors came, guess none of them cared
I didn't know what to do I was just too scared
You said you'd heard my sister and I fight
And for all you cared I could stay out all night

^^^ I am extremely sorry that no one came to help you. I wish I was there at the time, If only I could of been. I wish I could of helped you. I am still very very sorry.

I was locked out, beaten and broken
As you went inside, not another word spoken
When I think of it now, yes I still cry
Because for me, it's the day that I died
Though so long ago, "way back when"
What did I do, I was only ten

^^^ A child should never be locked out their house... It is a horrible feeling, I have felt that before. It is not your fault that this has happened. It is not as if you would of been able to know that he/she was going to do that to you at all... So it is not your fault at all... Just remember that okay?

That brought a tear to my eye ,and I was left heartbroken by the image of that poor child being locked out the house.....no child should have to endure what you described in this write ,you wrote it so well.

This pome was absoulty perfect.loved It...keep it up.

I can really tell that this came from the heart .
Im sorry you had that happen to you:(

*5/5

Its a sad world we live in mate your poem was well written with a good flow and rhyme

Grant

Very moving...

OMG...i'm very sorry for this..no child should be treated like that,there is no excuse for these things...:(:(:(:(:((:(:(:(

5/5

I just cant stop reading this poem...it brings tears to my eyes and breaks my heart....again im very sorry this happened:(